Choose To Believe Anyway
Grief is a funny thing. If you’ve ever lost someone close to you you’ll know this. Some days you feel just fine, others grief tumbles over you like heavy waterfall, the force of the waters threatening to pull you under.
Today in Canada it’s Father’s Day. Although I think of my Dad every day, days like this are harder than others.
My brother Kevin-died June 2012 |
Before what I affectionately call the ‘tsunami’ of deaths in my life, I wondered how my faith would hold up if really put to the test. Would I hold onto the truths I have learned or would I shake an angry fist at God and run for the hills? Questioning all I had come to believe?
I think this past year was a pretty good test of that. |
Nephew Craig died Oct 2012 |
Best friend Rob died Dec 2012 |
Dad, died Nov 2013 |
I have seen grief ruin people. The crushing weight of the pain of loss is something they just can’t seem to get out from under. I have also seen people bury it so deep in their hearts that the pain comes out in different ways, against other people, or needs to be quieted with numbing effects of drugs and alcohol. Some turn off all feelings towards others to protect themselves from being hurt again.
The truth is we will all face loss in our lives, it’s how we face it that can change our lives.
I’ve seen Christians turn away from God when suffering comes, feeling betrayed and hurt ‘Why would a God who loves me allow this to happen?’ They ask.
I can’t profess to have it figured out, not even close. I only know what I’ve learned through the storm in my own life.
Your faith is, was and will continue to be a choice.
This means that when you don’t understand why things are happening the way they do, you choose to believe anyway.
When the gripping pain of loss comes, as it inevitably will in this life, you choose to believe anyway.
When financial strain seems to crush you, you choose to believe anyway.
When nothing makes sense and you feel alone…..choose to believe anyway.
This has been my experience. In my darkest of days, when grief threatened to drown me, I chose to believe anyway.
What happens after you choose is where the incredible gift lies. When grief sits on my chest pushing the tears out of my eyes, there is someone there to give that pain to, to pour it out to….and incredibly, each and every time I do this, the pain lifts, I feel light and free and full of an inexplicable peace and hope.
I know the pain of grief without faith and it’s a dark place, a long road, a deep hole. I don’t want to stay there.
There is a faithful God who loves you more than you can imagine. In your pain, He is there, with you. He will redeem what is lost, restore what is broken, and help you to stand again.
But first you must choose to believe anyway.