I’ve come to notice over the years that Jesus was crazy about people. He cared. He really cared about people as individuals. He treated with respected even people who lived without reverence towards God, and who apparently did not value or obey God’s principles and commands. I get the clear sense that Jesus didn’t just treat people well as an evangelistic strategy, but rather because that’s who He is. I could cite many versus in support of this, but let’s face it, if you’ve read the Gospel accounts you have to concede this fact, at least mentally. There is just no way you can contest it.
If we call ourselves by Christ’s name and if we hope that people will encounter the character of Christ in our lives such that they want to know Him personally, then we need to, somehow, cultivate an increasing level of Jesus’ character in our attitudes and actions. So let’s consider how we tend to treat non-Christians as compared to Jesus.
(To help get this out of our mind and into our heart, I would encourage you to read through Luke (or one of the other three Gospels) with no other purpose than to consider how Jesus interacted with the people at large. Forget about everything else in the historical account for now and focus on His interactions with “the people”, the normal guy or gal on the street. How did He treat them?)
When I consider the Christian culture at large and then read the Gospels, I’m shocked. I say that because in general the Christian culture treats with contempt people who do not apparently value or live by God’s principles. Or, maybe I should say, we treat with contempt those who don’t live according to our understanding of God’s principles. In the Gospels I see Jesus treating such people with love, respect, and dignity. ( Jesus is “the truth”- meaning we can’t say He doesn’t understand the severity or significance of one particular person’s sin; we can’t say He is overly “liberal” in His Christianity.)
How do we treat people with contempt or disrespect? Well, pay attention to the news, or sitcoms, or your friends (or yourself) long enough and you’re bound to see Christians criticizing groups or individual “sinners”. This criticism can be subtle and may just be a certain tone of voice with no direct verbal criticism. There may be simply a key phrase like “those people”, or perhaps “why don’t they just…”, but you will encounter something in the conversation that suggests that the person or group in question is somehow less than the speaker himself. Perhaps the subtle contempt comes in the form of exclusion, a lack of interest or involvement in the life of someone with whom you have regular contact. This often happens in the church at large as we avoid “those people”. The criticism may not be subtle at all. For example, I have seen a Christian visit another person’s house, and out of nowhere, in the middle of some other conversation say “Why don’t you just stop smoking, God doesn’t like that.”
It may be easy to detect this contempt in the Christian culture at large, or in the lives of people we know, but what about you and I personally? You or I may say “I’m not like that.” But, are you so sure? Take me for example, I’m writing this very article about treating all people with respect and dignity, and I probably tend to be somewhat critical of those Christians that have not yet understood this principle. I need to be very careful about my thoughts and how I chose to speak, so as not to foster within me an attitude of contempt toward other Christians. Surely, I am no better or more pure then they are. In fact, it may be the case that they are purer or more correct than I am on some certain point of Christianity.
Whatever form the contempt or criticism takes, at the heart it is something that suggests the speaker has, at some level, an attitude of superiority. “Why don’t they just change…(and be more like I am)”, or “Surely they know that is wrong”, “How can they live like that”, or “Haven’t they learned what the consequences are?” I don’t believe this is the conscious and intentional attitude of most Christians, but it does seem to be where we gravitate without being aware of it.
So why do we react this way? Well I think the fundamental reason is that as Christians we have been made alive spiritually by the Holy Spirit. Once we were dead and now we are alive, at least to some degree. (I say “at least some degree” because Christianity is a process not an event – I’m talking about growth or transformation. We are not all at the same level of spiritual growth and our personal growth can increase or deteriorate depending on how well we maintain our relationship with God.) As we grow we become more spiritually sensitive and learn the will of God. As we understand more the character of God we become more sensitive to sin, it becomes more offensive to us because it is offensive to God.
So our tendency is to become so accustomed with this new spiritual reality, that we forget who we were before a relationship with Christ. Or we forget that we are not fully matured, that maybe God will yet show us that we still have some dirt in our lives too. Another factor is that we tend to consider some sins as more vile to God than others, and since our lives are generally free from these “vile” sins, then we tend to think we are somehow more refined or more OK with God, than our non-Christian friends. Again, I don’t think these attitudes are intentional and perhaps we don’t even perceive these attitudes in ourselves.
All this is compounded by the fact that many of us hold some-type of sin as particularly offensive to us personally. Perhaps, it is something we or someone close to us struggles(d) with personally, or perhaps it is a sin that someone committed, such that we or someone close to us suffered. These are sins that, perhaps, we are a bit more passionate about and tend to be a bit more critical of. Sometimes our sensitivity to these sins is such that we are apt to speak out against them more forcefully and with much less grace, even to the point of ignoring evident sin in our own lives. This condition, in particular tends to make us look harsh and hypocritical to non-Christians.
So where does all this leave us? Well, being aware intellectually, of God’s incredible grace and love for sinners, and our tendency to criticize sinners, even if subtly, is the first step toward learning to treat people like Jesus did. You and I can’t possibly be more offended by sin then God is, not even about the most perverse and intrusive types of sin. By definition that is impossible. If I can concede this fact, and be aware of my own attitudes I can start to want more of God’s incredible grace in me. I can start to live intentionally such that God can transform me more.
This transformation is critical if we are to leave people feeling that we genuinely care about them….And if people are convinced that you genuinely care about them, eventually they will give you authority to speak delicately into their lives.
One thing I have seen probably a hundred times is people start to “scratch their heads” (they are noticeably bewildered as evidenced by expression of face, tone of voice, openness, and what they actually say) as they encounter a Christian who conducts himself differently than they had expected. This is usually related to a demonstrated attitude of humility, grace, simplicity, non-criticism, and acceptance. Basically, the Christian treated the other person like a friend, someone valuable, and was sensitive to possible religious hurts. People are blown away by this type of encounter —because it is how we were made to be treated, and how God intended for us to treat others. It is how Jesus treated, to use a religious phrase, “the lost, the least, and the worst.”
But this has to be something that becomes natural for us. By that I mean it has to be who we really are, it can’t be forced. People can smell project Christians coming from a mile away. A project Christian is someone how does something because that is what they are “supposed to do” or because “that’s what Christians do”. They are trying to do a Christian act of goodness, a project, based on someone else’s sense of conviction. Frequently, that’s all we have as a starting point, but what we need to do is act naturally out of our own convictions.
Conviction is the thing that burns in me because I have had some insight into who God is and I can’t help but want more of that in myself. Being natural is when God shows me how to reflect or act consistent with His character, through the person He has formed me to be. It’s me being the me God has designed. It’s God using my personality, life experience, who I am physically, the way I talk, all that is me, to reflect His character to the world. We study, we watch others, we have Christian role models, etc. but we don’t just copy people. We seek that God would convict us about how we should live so that through us people can encounter who He is. This transformation, like all Christian growth, is a process that takes time.
Let’s ask God to show us our own sin and help us to understand in our heart how much He cares for people, even those we think are the worst offenders. Let’s ask God to put in us a personal conviction to really care about people and how we can express that. Let’s ask God to form in us more of the “Jesus presence” (that which disarmed people, which left them “scratching their heads”). This means we give God the permission to make us uncomfortable as He forms and molds who we are. This is normal biblical Christianity.
If our encounters with people are marked by the qualities that Jesus exhibited in His encounters, we will have ample opportunities to share the reason for the hope we have.
May God guide all your first contacts!
